2 Things:
#1. If you love your independence and you really want to be independent, please marriage may not be for you.
#2. Your marriage is not a limited company or public liability company, don’ sell your marriage ‘shares’ to any 3rd party (including close family, close friends and general public). Always maintain and keep it at 2 major and main shareholders – YOU AND YOUR BELOVED SPOUSE. It is when your marriage works that people around you can enjoy part of the dividends.
20 Things
#1. Don’t marry because you want to build a house, marry to build a home.
#2. If you are not ready to be transparent, accountable and naked to one certain fellow human being of the opposite sex called ‘spouse’, please don’t marry.
#3. For as long as you are both human, you and your spouse will not always agree on everything. It is normal to disagree once in a while. Just agree to disagree when you disagree. Always stay in agreement even in disagreements. (if you must always win an argument, please don’t marry).
#4. When you have strong disagreements (aka quarrels) don’t bring in family members to settle matters. No matter how neutral family try to be they are not the best mediators…. Seek for trusted couples /elders who believe in your marriage and are neutral enough to mediate.
#5. Marriage is not a destination, it is the beginning of a lifetime journey. You have not ‘arrived’, you have only begun a journey that can affect your eternal destination.
#6. Marriage is the closest experience of heaven on earth, and can also be the closest experience to hell on earth. You both have the power to agree and choose which experience you both desire.
#7. Marriage is the platform where you can truly practice your faith with works (Faith without corresponding action is dead, faith works by love).
#8. Marriage is an avenue to show if you truly love God, yourself and your neighbour as you love yourself.
#9. Marriage avails you the opportunity to reveal the real you and express who you truly are. Marriage is the ‘exposer’ of your nakedness.
#10. You don’t really know your spouse till you marry, you may never completely know your spouse still as the years go by. Marriage is like one day of revelation after another.
#11. Marriage can be sweet, can be bitter, or bitter sweet. It only depends on how you mix the ingredients. Don’t make it too sweet or too bitter either, just learn to get the right balance. At bitter times, only get better, at sweet times, only get better.
#12. Beware of what you call your spouse, that is what they will become to you.
#13. No matter the provocation, never call each other names, only call each other by the name you gave them when you were under intoxication of their love.
#14. Children are a gift from God, don’t turn them into corrupted gifts by constantly arguing, quarrelling and disagreeing with your spouse in their presence.
#15. Don’t use your children as pawns, marriage is not a game of chess. Don’t use your children to bargain with your spouse, marriage is not a gambling business.
#16. Don’t be too busy building a house at the expense of building a home together with your spouse. Don’t design a house for your family, design a home and work to build a house that can be a home for your family.
#17. Don’t start a family business, if you have not first laid the family on the right foundation of Knowledge, understanding and wisdom.
#18. When you say ‘I love You'( to your spouse, say it with conviction, mean it, and really interpret it to mean: ‘I God You’ ; It is ‘I GOD & YOU’. A threefold cord cannot be easily broken, made with your spouse, You and God at the centre. Remember God is Love.
#19. Marriage is like a stage ready for real drama, where you truly rehearse and practice what it means to forgive a fellow human being.
#20. Never allow anyone, anything, anytime come between you and your spouse. Anyone, anything, or anytime that you allow between you has taken the place of God in a subtle way.
Okay, 2 and 2 x 2 More Things:
#1. Whether you like it or believe it, whatever your spouse worships is what you indirectly or directly worship. Watch what you worship individually or together, intentionally deliberately choose what you both want to be worshiping.
#2. Marriage is not by force, it is by choice – your choice.
#1. God may allow all manner of human beings to come your way, whoever or whatever you choose to marry, is what you married by choice, don’t blame God.
#2. If you decided to marry someone because someone said you should marry or must marry that particular person, never forget you are still going to be the one who will marry and live with that decision.
#1. The best person to keep your secret without judging you should be your spouse not your neighbour’s or friend’s spouse. That may be the first step into adultery.
#2. If you don’t want to commit adultery, don’t commit yourself and your secrets to another adult other than your spouse.
©️Fola Olaoye
Excerpt from the book: “It Takes 2 to Tango And 3 To Tangle”
Thank you for reading!
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